I love everyone but my landlord

You are all some mighty fine people.
And lousy fucking guessers.

The bad news is that the Judge found in favor of the landlord, despite the fact that I had the PA tenant/landlord law on my side. The good news is that he drastically cut the amount of money the landlord was looking for. He pretty much just had us split the cost of the new carpet 50/50. Neither of us really had proof of anything (no pictures of said carpet) so it was just her word against mine; so he probably figured this was the fairest way to do it. And the majority of my half was already take care of by my security deposit which the landlord, of course, had never returned.

I considered filing an appeal, since in order to come to this judgment the judge literally had to completely ignore the Tenant/Landlord Act of Pennsylvania. But that would have meant hiring a lawyer and taking time off work and driving the 3 hours to file the appeal and then doing it all again for the actual appeal hearing with no guarantee that I'd win. So I just wrote the check for the remainder of what I owed for the new carpet and am instead looking at filing a complaint with the State's Attorney General.
The Landlord can lie to me, and she can lie to a little judge from BFE and get away with it, but I'd like to see her fuck with the Attorney General's Office.

In other more exciting news, I won an award. I'll spare you my Sally Field imitation, although it is most impressive, but admit I was so excited I might have peed in my pants a little.
Just a little.
Shuttup.

Anyway, despite my wet panties, or perhaps because of them, UsedToBeMe presented me with:

Now I'm supposed to pass this on to 7 people that I love but that just isn't going to happen. While there are many many bloggers I love, I'm not comfortable playing favorites. Or I'd leave someone out accidentally. Or I'm just being a rebel. Or I'm just too lazy to do all that linking right now. But if you do want to check out some cool people, go jump on my blogroll and take a look around. They're all wonderful.
Oh! see, I knew I'd think of a way out. If you're on my blogroll, you just won yourself an award. ::kisses::

Oh, and remind me to tell you about my hair.

You be the judge

So none of you even caught the "on the verge of needing a lawyer" but I'll let that slide and talk about it anyway.

My ex-landlord sued me for 'damages' done to my old apartment. Can you believe that shit?
I was flabbergasted, quite frankly, because she was full of crap. I'm one of those tenants a landlord adores (remember Eduardo? he was a landlord and he said that too). Not only do I take good care of my apartment but I make improvements, with permission, as well. I figure, I may not own the place but I have to live there. When my wood screen door broke I replaced it with an aluminum storm door. I added ceiling fans to all three bedrooms. I had my sister-in-law, who was a professional landscaper, come do my yard. Yep, I'm a landlord's wet dream.

Until I move out of course and find out that my landlady is a cheapass lying cunt. What exactly, you ask, were the 'damages'? Well, in two of the rooms the carpeting need replaced because they showed worn spots.

Seriously.

Facts:
1. It was really inexpensive beige carpeting. (I'm in architecture. I know this kind of stuff).
2. I lived in this apartment for 8 years.
3. The landlord admitted that the carpeting had been in the apartment for 4 years before I moved in - making it 12 years old. Check out carpet manufacturers, you can get 5 and 7 year warranties and in rare cases, if you spend a lot, 10 years.
4. She thought I should pay the entire cost of replacing the carpet and the padding underneath at a tune of $1000. Her reasoning being that, despite the fact that the carpet warranty was years past, it was my living there that caused it to need replaced. And (I swear to God she said this) the carpeting in her house is 12 years old and it doesn't need replaced (and I so wanted to ask her if it was the same cheapass carpet she put in my apartment, but I didn't think that would sound as funny to the judge as it did to me).
5. Even though both of our names were on the lease, she only named me in the suit and not The Paperweight.
6. If the defendent doesn't show, the Plantiff automatically wins.
7. I live 3 hours away from the Magistrate's office. The Paperweight 5 minutes.

I think little Miss Slumlord was figuring she could say what she wanted, I wouldn't bother to make the drive, and she'd make out like a bandit. Ha! Little does she know I'd drive twice as far to squelch the likes of her.
So even though the hearing was at 9 am, I made the 3 hour drive up to Pennsylvania and stated my opinion.

I recently got the judgement back. What do you think was decided?

Weekend update: Girlfriend is still a whore

Girlfriend and her hubby T were here this weekend. I nearly peed myself with excitement waiting for them to arrive. Friends! People I know and love!! In my house!!!
All of you take such things for granted...

We did a lot of bullshitting, consumed large quantities of alcohol, went to GonzoFest, and Girlfriend and I came perilously close to licking a perfect stranger:

But can you blame us?

FYI that orange sleeve in the corner is mine. Girlfriend was taking a picture of me and Hott Guy just happened to be in the background
[wink, wink, nudge, nudge]

The time went by much to fast, but now they know where we live so they have no excuse for not visiting. You know, except for me calling her a whore and all.

Chicken. The other white vegetable.

Once again, I've won the 'Terrible horrible most awful mother of the year Award'.
The Girl went vegetarian last month.

The Thing has been a vegetarian for a few years and now that we are living together, it's a little hard to miss that fact. When we would all eat hamburgers and his 'burger' would be set apart...the terms vegetarian or fake meat being used almost daily...The Girl may be young, but she's not stupid. These things get noticed after a while.
So then she started asking questions. What's up? What does vegetarian mean? Why? How come? You know, the usual 8 million questions elementary students ask on an hourly basis. And I answered her. Cause that's what I do.

After about two weeks of this, The Girl resolutely announced one day that she was now a vegetarian. No meat for her.
Now I've been 'mostly vegetarian' for a while now. The occasional burger (cause hey, that shit is gooooood) but mostly not due to being more health conscious lately and just being around The Thing. So after confirming that The Girl knew what she was getting into, I told her that I would support her decision, help her anyway I could, and that as long as she was vegetarian, I would be as well.

Seriously, I've lost like 5 lbs already. And my only form of exercise is going to the freezer for more ice cream. But I digress.

This has caused an uproar like none I ever expected, but there are two opponents of this that are rallying against it above all others. First, the asshole in the corner that should surprise no one - The Paperweight.
I'm her mother...How could I let her do this...Why don't I stop her...blah blah fuckin blah...
Dude, it's not like I'm giving her brown liquor and pimping her out to sailors.
It was her choice. She brought it up. And if she ever decided she wanted a hot dog, I'd be the first one to grill it up for her. She gets protein out the wazu from all of the soy and peanut butter she eats - way more than she was getting before, but without all the fat.

Whatever.
So the second big Fauve-Sucks-As-A-Mom rallier?
The Thing's Mom.
Or as I like to call her, Your Mom.

So, Your Mom called this week to see if we were going to the local Big Ole Redneck Fair Bonanza or whatever it's called. Which of course we are because, hell, why not? So she was extolling the virtues of said local fair, mainly the food. The Thing, who is proud of The Girl and way more flattered than he likes to admit, bragged/commented that The Girl was now vegetarian.

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

So I can hear The Thing spending the next 15 minutes trying to assure Your Mom that The Girl is fine and healthy and is getting plenty of protein and that I'm not Satan incarnate.
There were actually a few minutes there toward the end that I started to worry that maybe I should force The Girl to eat some meat. I mean, we hadn't been to McDonald's in a month... What kind of mom was I?!
Then I heard The Thing snort and say 'No, mom. She doesn't eat chicken either.'

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am running a fever

Despite the fact that I can't sing and the only instrument I play is the violin, I've decided I'm going to start an all girl rock band called Agglomeration.

Because I can.