And the weekend after that...
Which would be last weekend, I met The Thing's ex-girlfriend. The most recent one. The one he had lived with for two years and only broke up with 3 months before meeting me. For now, let's call her YRLFSATP (You aRe Loud For Such A Tiny Person).
I have to admit, I was a wee bit nervous before meeting YRLFSATP. Not a jealousy thing; I know Thing loves me and I've heard YRLFSATP is slightly...um...crazy. Okay, not crazy. Let's just say she has issues. Sure, we all have issues, myself included, but she has ISSUES. (perhaps that will be her name?)
No, nervous because I (get this) was afraid she wouldn't like me. Rational? Probably not. I mean, 1) who wouldn't and 2) who cares. But, being slightly neurotic is one of my issues so let's just move on, shall we? Thing speaks very highly of YRLFSATP and always has...good person, non-judgmental, kind heart blah blah blah. So what if she doesn't like me? Worse yet, what if she's not as 'kind hearted' as Thing thinks and tells him she doesn't like me? I know they ended on very good terms...So how much influence does she still have over him?
Anyways...
I met her. And her new boyfriend, who is absolutely wonderful and pretty similar to Thing so I'm not all that surprised that YRLFSATP is dating him. However, when it comes to YRLFSATP herself...well, let me start with first impression. YRLFSATP is drop dead fucking gorgeous.
Let me repeat that...YRLFSATP is drop dead fucking gorgeous.
Seriously? In the words of my teenage son's friends 'I would totally hit that'.
Anyways...
Second impression? Refer to the name I've given her.
It took me all of a half hour to have the thought "What the fuck did he see in her?"
It took me another 15 minutes after that to think "No, seriously. WTF?!?"
15 minutes after that, "Am I on Candid Camera?"
And another 15..."Please God, make her shut up. Or at least say something nice. Or worthwhile. Or at least not whiny. Or a decibel quieter. On second thought, please God, just have someone stick a fork in my head."
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 11:25 PM
10 Comments:
roflmao! i can so see the look on your face! but you know what? maybe she was nervous too? lots of people (me included) talk a little louder or a little higher pitched or a little too much when nervous. or maybe not. :-) at any rate, i'm sure she does love you, cuz as you so wisely said, "who wouldn't?"
besides...you're drop dead fucking gorgeous too!
Yeah, what Kelly said.
And wow... I bet she was incredibly annoying. But if Thing didn't said something like "wow, wonder why she was talking so effing loud?" then I'd imagine that's how she normally talks. He must have the patience of a saint.
YRLFSATP ... catchy lol
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She was probably just as nervous about meeting you.
Surface beauty only carries you so far - as she has clearly learned. Even the most gorgeous partners lose their lustre after a while when they go loopy.
I love how you write about your life. I feel like I'm right there with you.
ummm...did she like you? :op
I couldn't resist. I gotta agree with Kel & CC though. You have no worries in that department.
So, after spending time with the human megaphone, did you ask Thing..."what were you thinking?"
Thing and I only spoke about her briefly afterwards. I was trying to be diplomatic so I didn't want to say "WTF?!" but I did say, "You lived with her for two years?" and he said "yeah, why?" and I commented just that I was surprised because they had such different personalities...
(thinking, sure she's drop dead gorgeous which may be fine for a while but she ruins it as soon as she opens her mouth. Dating, yes. Fucking, yes. That you lived with her for two years I find shocking as hell)
He was silent after that but I couldn't help asking "Did you love her?" and his 'Yes' was so defensive that I just let it drop.
Hmmmm
Oh, and I have no clue if she liked me or not. I asked a couple days later if he had talked to her since but he said that he hadn't. Honestly, I haven't given it much thought. Being human, I'm slightly curious as to what she would say. But she was so abrasive that her opinion no longer matters to me.
YRLFSATP seems like it'd be the sound that jello makes when it hits the floor.
I'm just sayin'.
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