Tee Hee
Um...
Actually, that title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. However, this was said in a conversation I was having with someone last night and it totally cracked me up. It's a dorky thing to say anyway, but when it's being said by a 34 year old man...well...
And as a side note: to those of you who's blogs I read on a regular basis (and you know who you are) if you have made the switch to the beta thing...I haven't been able to leave comments on your sites for the last couple days. I still loves ya and I still read daily, I just can't mark my territory anymore.
Anyway, it has come to my attention that after being extremely bitter for quite a while, then getting over myself (for the most part), falling in love and become much less bitter (which I know annoyed the hell out of a lot of folks because my traffic slowed significantly), that I've wound up being a bit more bitter these last few posts (wanting The Paperweight to get hit by a Mack Truck, for example).
I have found in recent days that The Paperweight did more then make me miserable for the last decade and a half. And it's seriously pissing me off. I seem okay with past stuff; dealing with things he said and did. I mean, I don't dwell on that kind of stuff (poor me, he didn't treat me well...oh shuddup!)
But do you know what really fucks me off? The thing that has made me regret ever having met The Paperweight?
The Thing
And my relationship with him
A small small part of me expects The Thing to react or act like The Paperweight.
And I hate it.
I hate that I have 'emotional baggage'.
And most importantly, and hardest of all...I hate the fact that I can't treat The Thing as well as he deserves. He deserves the best. And that ain't me.
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 11:00 AM
9 Comments:
I know from which you speak. Not that my EX treated me terribly (although he could of treated me better), we just weren't meant to be together, but there were 'things' that he did that I expect(ed) my new husband to do. Some of them just being typical male traits. But he has surprised me and has done little of those 'things'. I don't treat hubby near as well as I should, but I'm learning. So you can learn too!!! Just keep in mind they are two totally different people.
Embrace the inner bitter!!! It helps to filter out the yoyo's.
Have a great weekend and Hi from Michele's.
By the way, my husband has an actually 'tee hee hee' sounding laugh. It makes me laugh so hard I almost pee.
It's hard to escape those thoughts - "emotional baggage" is something that everyone has, I think. It's just how one packs it that makes the difference. I use Hefty bags for mine - inexpensive, plus they all match.
Seriously, though...I am sure the Thing understands the hell you've been through with the Paperweight. The fact that you have two kids out of the relationship probably makes it harder...but from how you've described him, he seems like a good guy. Let's face it...when it comes down to brass tacks, humans DON'T always deserve the best in life, but when we get it, it's truly a gift to cherish.
Hug him, and sorry for sounding like one of those damned Blue Mountain greeting cards.
You have to wonder if the passage of time will somehow lessen that baggage. It has to, right?
Enjoy your wonderful, fun, loving relationship with The Thing, and allow him to love you, and just have fun! You DO deserve it, and The Thing DOES deserve a wonderful, special woman like you.
*smoochies*
Like BTDT said, you CAN learn and get past these things. Just ealizing the issue is there is half the battle.
I understand what you mean. I have recently separated from my husband of 14 years and I am not one to dwell on the past, but how I hate the baggage!
Timer is a great healer apparently.
Thanks for visiting my blog and Merry Christmas.
I'm sure the Thing understands emotional baggage. Just be open and honest with him about what you are dealing with and how you are working on it and everything will be fine.
Maybe he thinks your the best thing for him and that's all that matters. Give yourself a break, none of us are even close to being perfect and everyone has baggage. Yours is just fresh baggage, it'll get better. ((hugs))
Um, we NEVER treat those we love as well as they should be treated. That's where the whole 'taking things for granted' idea comes from. What we need to do then, is to TRY to remedy the situation and work on it.
Oh, I so went all Dr. Phil.
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