Dead hookers & massive meat are my norm

So I'm totally hyper today. In a good way. In a fun, giggly, manic kind of way. I have 5 different email conversations going on with five different people on three different topics. One topic is about finding a coworker a date for the company Christmas party, one in regards to another coworker's shopping/napping habits and the third regarding a third coworker's reportedly "massive meat". Don't ask. No, really.

I think the stress has finally made me snap. No, really.

Take the usual, throw in quickly approaching holidays, add a dash of freaking-out-about-relationship-stuff-like-a-big-girl and you have a recipe for disaster. Or crème brulee. I can never remember which.

I think I'm done Christmas shopping for the kids. Kids for The Paperweight and their grandparents - done. I even got Girlfriend out of the way (I found her another dead hooker). Think I'm about half way done with The Thing. I don't have that 'thing' yet though…you know, that one item you know is just right. I'm clueless there. But I still have stockings to stuff and decorations to do and cards to buy and yada yada yada. I still have lots of time, but you know the drill. Stress, stress, stress.
The relationship stuff is normal stuff, which is why I'm freaking out. I am SO not used to normal. I spent Thanksgiving with the Thing's family (on his father's side, that I hadn't yet met) in Virginia. They, quite frankly, are normal. Everyone was nice and polite. Everyone helped out in the kitchen. No on was glued to the television. No one drank too much, or swore, or felt up their niece or gossiped or walked around in their boxer shorts or belched at the dinner table.
You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when you have lunch with another couple and the other couple start to fight? There is that whole awkward how-do-we-act kind of thing going on…that was me on Thanksgiving. I had absolutely no context in which to place these people. I had no idea what to expect. They were
normal
nice
polite
wonderful

So I sent Thing's aunt a formal thank you note. She emailed me today talking him up. Like I don't already know he's wonderful but it was too friggin cute. And she told me how much they enjoyed meeting me and invited me & the kids down next month.
Maybe I can pull off this normal thing after all...