Okay you inpatient mother fuckers

You can just feel the love, can't ya? Just wait until my next post describing how horribly busy I've been and then won't you feel sorry...
Yeah, probably not. But anyway...

So where did we leave off? Oh yes, we ran right smack into Fred & Wilma.

Which, technically, is a lie. I ran right smack in to the back of Fred, whom I frantically casually walked past pretending not to notice. Because I knew it was kind of like spotting a mouse in your house, you know there is never just one. I was completely unprepared, The Thing was with me, how would they react in front of my beloved and where the hell had The Boy wandered off to so I could find him and get out of this store before Wilma smelled blood in the water.
Alas, a 16 year old boy is never easy to find in a mall and The Girl was spotted before I could track him down. As Wilma approached, I started to hyperventilate and felt my grip tighten on Thing's hand; tight enough that he gave a little ouch and a 'what the?!' and then Satan herself stood before us.
And then The Boy appears. See what happens when you don't beat your children? They have no respect for your feelings at all.
The kids (thankfully) distracted Wilma with chatter and then Fred wandered over adding to the chaos. This allowed me enough time to try to catch my breath, try to think of something to say, and for Thing to catch the look of sheer terror in my eyes and clue in as to who these people were.

'Thing, this is Wilma and Fred. Wilma & Fred, this is Thing.'

Hand shaking ensued.

Nervous inane small talk ensued. We're Christmas shopping. I found yada yada for yada yada. Did you see blah blah blah?
Thing, who will suffer miserably at some point in the near future, yet far enough in to the future as to let his guard down, says 'So, I hear we will be joining you for Christmas dinner this year?'
Traitor.
Yes, Christmas. Blah blah yada fucking blah. More small talk, lots of nervous smiles, me pretty much standing there numb and dumbfounded.
This is one of Thing's many strong points. He could charm the fucking pants off a nun.

Fred & The Boy wandered off to look at something, probably sports related.
The Girl decided there was something she had to show Thing immediately, probably something pink.
This, of course, left me alone with Wilma.
The woman who hasn't seen or spoken to me in 15 months.
My mother.

That first moment, after more then a year. What would you say? How would you act? Ask how they have been? What are they have been doing? Dare I say, apologize?
Wilma chose, "Wow, he's cute."

Yep, my mother.

::waves to former coworker and new reader Franks&Beans::