That really grinds my gears

Yes, as a matter of fact I was watching Family Guy last night. You got a problem with that? As of late, everything annoys me. And I mean everything. You know that one person who just gets under your skin and drives you crazy? I mean sure, they do some pretty stupidly irritating things but really it's just the fact that they dare to exist in your presence that really just bugs the shit out of you...yeah, that person.

I feel that way about everyone.

So I arrived home last night, in the dark, late, with two folders of paperwork...and found my house a mess. The house I had just cleaned before leaving for work that morning. The kitchen counters could not be found, every light in the house was on, and there were chip crumbs and dirty dishes scattered on the forbidden-to-be-eaten-on-just-vacuumed living room carpet.

After putting the fear of Fauve in to both The Boy and The Girl, I retreated to my bedroom, cranked the volume up on Family Guy and ate my dinner with a pile of Barbie dolls at my side. The next one to whine, complain, cry, make a mess, or remotely roll their eyes in my direction was going to set off a barrage of Barbie Grenades.

What a long fucking week this has been. And the first person to point out that this is only Wednesday is going to win a brand new shiny dildo for which you can go fuck yourself with (size, shape and color of my choosing, of course).

I'm still working with The Cunt who, besides being a cunt, is totally useless. Why is the direct correlation between work and pay that the more you get paid the less work you actually do? Shouldn't it be the other way around? I did actually grow some balls this week when I flat out refused to do some work for her because it was mindless drivel. It took her longer to place the request then it would have been for her to do it herself...and it would have taken longer still for me to drop what I was doing and fulfill the request. And when I was informed by someone else on my 'team' that she had a list of such items that needed to be done...well, I couldn't help but ask "What's #2 on her list? Wipe her ass?"

And I actually drive 3 hours a day to put up with this. Which brings me to (tada!) The West End Circle...
Everyone in Pittsburgh hates the West End Circle; it's confusing, it slows down traffic, blah fucking yada blah...They are even spending $52.6 million dollars to 'fix' the Circle.
As someone who drives the Circle 5 days a week/52 weeks a year, let me tell you exactly what's wrong with it. The drivers who drive it. Yep. If you are in Pittsburgh and you take the Circle especially to get to the West End Bridge, you're a douchebag.
There are TWO lanes that go from Route 51 (see map) around the Circle and across the West End Bridge. However, every fucking day, people are bumper-to-bumper backed up on 51 because they all try to jamb into ONE lane...at the intersection where there is a traffic light...
So inevitably, traffic backs up enough from cars staying in only one lane and the light turns red again after only 1 or 2 cars get through. Look to your left, ya dumb douchebags, see that other lane over there? The one with absolutely no traffic in it? Yes, you are allowed to move over and use that lane. It's going to the exact same place as the one you are in...only faster.
So if you are ever in Pittsburgh during morning rush hour going towards the West End Circle and a little red car passes you on the shoulder heading into the left lane while a red head yells out the window "THERE ARE TWO LANES YA DOUCHEBAGS!" give me a wave. Okay?
The City of Pittsburgh should just put that on a sign at the intersection and then pay me that $52.6 million...

And I think it should not only be permissible but encouraged to hit pedestrians who cross against the light or are not in a crosswalk. If you're stupid enough to walk out in front of oncoming traffic, you need to die in order to save the rest of humanity from an Idiocracy fate. Enough said.

Anyway, last night, after a half hour of laughing at Family Guy and a Harper's Oktoberfest, I was feeling better. Both of my offspring managed to avoid a massacre of flailing plastic limbs. But barely.

And for any of you who haven't figured it out by now:
first - why the hell are you reading my blog, you tool?
second - yes, I am PMSing.
third - and yes, I quit smoking again. This is day #4. God help you all.