Obligatory New Year's Post
Having failed miserably at last year's resolution, I will continue with it this year as well. However, I don't completely blame myself for my failure because I really expected more support from you guys. Lord knows I tried so it's obvious that some of you have not been pulling your weight. So try harder damn you! Put your back in to it, noses to the grind stone and let's win one for the Fauver!!
But we all know how I strive for growth, change and the betterment of myself and society at large. So I can not justify settling for this resolution alone. Having a boyfriend in another state and a 1 1/2 hour commute to work each day means I spend quite a bit of time traveling. With this in mind, especially since I've traveled a significant amount recently with the holidays, it is this year's resolution to become an inventor.
I haven't worked out all the details yet but it consists of a mechanical device added to all new cars and another capable of retrofit on existing vehicles. There will need to be side panel sensors of a sort of which I am completely unfamiliar and some engineering which I will also need help with so I'm excepting helpful information from willing volunteers.
Thing pointed out some 'flaws' with my earlier designs so I've settled on the following. After 1 full minute of any vehicle riding in the left-hand lane without passing another vehicle or making a left hand turn, a warning light will engage on the dashboard. The driver then has another full minute to either turn left, if need be, or move over in to the right hand land. If driver of said vehicle does neither, the vehicle's 'auto pilot' takes over, pulling the car over to the side of the road, thus not hurting other motorists on the highway, and the driver loses all control of the vehicle.
Windows are then rolled up automatically, locks engage and all oxygen is then sucked from the vehicle thus suffocating the asshole who, if he's too stupid to properly drive then he's too stupid to live.
I wonder if PayPal would let me set up an account so that donations can be made to the 'Kill an asshole and make the world a better place' Fund. What a tax write off that would make, eh?
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 10:59 AM
7 Comments:
How about different features, such as a "get off my ass" button that after a certain amount of time of a vehicle tailgating me, I push a button and blinding lights from the rear of my vehicle shine a little light on the subject? You know, sort of a laser beam, so as not to blind other more thoughtful drivers.
By the way, we're still patiently waiting on a post detailing dinner with Fred and Wilma.
Happy 2008 everyone!
As a lover of your blog and a fellow long commute (45 minute one way - 5 days a week) may I commend you and say touché! I would LOVE to be able to give them a 3-second count than be able to reach out and gently move them aside. I can't believe the lack of sense in the daily commuters. They really should stick to public transit and leave the carpooling to those with the capabilities to play nice on the freeway.
Happy New Years Fauve!
Rotflmao
You've got my vote.
I can't see why you wouldn't get some kind of government funding for that...
Saying that.....
I'm Insane
BTW
Happy New Year 2 you thing and your kids
I hope 2008 is your best yet =]
Uh - I think you've surpassed "Baby On Board" in terms of interest in your item.
Happy gnu year!
Happy 2008!
LMFAO!!! I forgot you have the same issue with this that I have. I drive those MD/VA/DC roads too and GAWD I'd LOVE to be able to 'flick' those left hand lane drivers off the road!
Happy New Year!
There is actually a law in Texas, with highway signs posted "Left Lane for Passing Only". Now if they would just enforce it. Left-lane homesteaders can really make me homicidal and I think I could make a case for justifiable homicide.
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