What the hell...you only live once
What is it about little blond haired blue eyed beauties? At 5, they're like little angels wrapped in a satanic teenager's PMSing body. The Girl looked so adorable this morning. At least she did until her head started to spin about as if independent of her body while green vomit spewed from her mouth and I recited the Exorcism Prayer of Saint Michael.
Or as we call it here: Time to pick out what shoes to wear to school.
As she is my daughter, she's a shoe horse. Lots of shoes. Lots of choices. However, not all are allowed at school by school policy. And those, of course, are the only shoes she wanted to wear today.
I could feel my temper rising just below the surface. [take a deep breath. just breathe! I swear that's what Lamaze is really for...not for birth but parenting] As long as blood isn't involved, I usually go the ignore route until they're calm. Trying to fight with a 5 year old is like running in the Special Olympics; you might win but you're still retarded.
A storm of shoes started raining from her open bedroom door...
And the phone rings.
"Hello, Ms. Fauve? This is Nurse Rachett from Dr. WakkitySchmackityDoo's office."
[just breath]
"I need to talk to you about your biopsy results."
As I look at the clock to see how much longer before The Girl's bus arrives, I can feel the now familiar sensation in my throbbing inner thigh. A combination of itching and burning; now 9 days later, it's still too tender to touch.
I have to remember to change my bandage and add more antibiotic cream before I leave, I'm thinking as another shoe thunks across the room and the voice on the phone continues.
[just breath]
I continue to pack up my things for work, noting that it's payday and wondering at the true perviousness of the term 'superficial cancer'. While medically accurate, I wonder who's asinine idea that was. Surely not someone who's ever been on my side of this kind of phone call.
"Idiot!" she yells.
The Girl, not the nurse.
God damn The Paperweight. While a potty mouth he's not, 'idiot' is and always has been his denunciation of choice.
No wonder he took so much. I'm no doctor but I have a hole the size of a nickel in my thigh...
[just breath]
Nurse Rachett explains that I'll need to have full body checks every 6 months to check for and the removal of re-occurrences, and to check for the off chance that melanoma will also appear, but that's it for now. I'll be fine. I am fine.
"Mom" a quiet voice says behind me.
"Yes sweetie?"
"I really really want to wear these shoes today."
"Honey, go for it. They look beautiful on you."
And she smiled.
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 11:27 PM
18 Comments:
So sorry to hear about the bad cancer news Fauve. At least you've kept your sense of humor, this post made me laugh :)
I remember seeing the word "carcinoma" in print on my lab reports prior to jumping through all the hoops I had to jump through prior to my hysterectomy, and thinking "wait... isn't that cancer?" It was like cold water thrown in your face. It takes your breath for a minute, then you get through it. At least you got it checked. And you could have some fun with the full body checks -- write little notes on your body that the doc will see with the magnifying glass!
Loved the post. Love you. *smoochies*
You are such an amazing writer!
That "c" word can make a heart skip a beat, I know...glad to hear that you're okay.
Glad you found it early and were able to get it take care of. Cancer sucks. Kick it's ass!
Fauvie, I'm glad to hear that you are "OK." You're in my thoughts.
Putting the big C aside for a minute, I don't envy you and the daughter battles. I'm so very grateful that I have boys. Boogers and fart jokes I can handle. A shoe crisis might just be beyond me.
*kisses*
You're fine, except for the thundering whisper in the back of your head...anyone who gets news like that has it, and it's scary as hell, but you're doing what you gotta do.
Breathe.
And be anal as hell about rechecks. We need you around in case there's someone with a head needing a fork stuck in it.
Holy shit. I've stopped bitching about taking the 3hour glucose test today now.
Maybe Thing can step up and help with the full body checks? Strictly in the name of health...
I got nothing. I apologize for the joke attempt. :P
http://lemmings-world.livejournal.com/
Jokes are not only welcome but entirely necessary. This is the emailed response I got from my older brother:
I'm glad you are OK, but "Squamous" is pretty funny.
Squamous...squamous...squamous. I'm going to say that all day.
See why he's my favorite? I about peed myself laughing.
SP....she has a 16 yr old brother, remember? Image fart jokes told by someone dressed as Cinderella...
One time my niece wanted to go to the store with her dad and he said no. She was wearing a Tinkerbell costume, pink and purple tiger print rain boots and had 5 bows in her hair. I told her she looked beautiful and should be proud of her outfit and her dad got all teary eyed and said she could go. She got more compliments that day then any other time out. You really only do live once!
I'm so happy you are fine, becuase you are going to be fine!
Shoes, eh? I have a new 6 mo old girl. I don't have a clue how to raise her. A good friend of mine told me today, "my advice, never cut her bangs." Now what the heck does that have to do with raising a girl.
Pre Daddy I never worried about C. Now I worry that I won't get to see my baby become an adult.
Laugh at the world as often as you can, Life is great and is to be enjoyed.
(hugs)
Hi,
Openly tell me to stick it in my ear and that I am full of crap- I am an LPN and not an RN and all of my skin cancer knowledge comes from assisting dermatologists the last two years (and counting).
There are good dermatologists and quacks like any other field. I am hoping this was a brief synopsis of the info the doctor's office gave you.
The sum of my Squamous Cell Carcinoma is this. They can metastasize (but rarely do I think) and can re-grow in the same area. Your biopsy report should read 'margins are clear' or something to that effect. When you go for follow-up derm visits, your inguinal (groin) lymph nodes should be checked for swollen nodes (possible metastasis).
If you have grown one skin cancer, you could now see more appear- years of sun exposure (if there were) showing up now. If you did get a lot of unprotected sun but protect yourself now, there should be a limit to how much stuff shows up.
That is, there is greater likelihood of a melanoma appearing, but squamous do not turn into melanoma.
Did you have a punch biopsy as opposed to a shave biopsy? Legs take longer to heal but is the area expected to be so tender and burning at this point?
Climbing down off my chair
Karen.
Unless you're The Paperweight I never assume people are full of crap...
That's basically what they told me.
I had a excisional biopsy - which is partly why I'm still healing, they removed the entire lesion and a good portion of the surrounding tissue. The other reason, is because this is on my inner thigh. And, let's be honest, I've had two kids and a love for Starbucks ice cream - my inner thighs rub together. While this is taking it longer to heal, my doc actually says this is kinda good because the rubbing will reduce the scar tissue build-up resulting in a smoother, less noticeable appearance.
The fact that this is on my inner thigh, some place that rarely sees that much sun (at least for me), my young age (Squamous is more common in people over 50) and that I really am pasty white (i've never been in a tanning bed, wear sunblock if I know I'll be outside more then 15 minutes and wear a daily spf lotion religously) we suspect that I have a genetic disposition for the Squamous. So I will be even more of a sunblock tyrant with my kids then I was before and I contacted my siblings. My older sister mentioned that she vaguely remembered our grandfather having stuff removed years ago...
They said it is rare for it to metastasize and even then only if it is 'let go' for too long. So obviously my paranoia that told me to go get checked out was a healthy amount.
And yes, they assured me that it will not turn in to melanoma but that I am at a higher risk for it now. Hence another reason for the 6 months checks.
Mmmmmm..... Starbucks ice cream!
Okay, your brother is right. Squamous sounds funny.
You're still a cutie in my book...squamous or not. Besides...I'm sure that's a boo boo that Thing doesn't mind kissing to make it ALL feel better ;o)
And to top it off you can relax on that new mattress now and be all comfortable. You did get the mattress right? I mean....we voted and all :op
lol
You've already shown us countless times what a super smart woman you are :)-
I've heard all kinds of stories from clients and known of not optimal doctor behaviors.
It sounds like you have an excellent dermatological team caring for you and that is so good to hear :)
I'm glad about your outlook for a long & healthy life w/Thing. Just be sure to not get complacent - recheck, recheck, recheck.
As for the shoe thing. I don't have kids, but my great-neice (2 yrs old) was given a "make-up" kit for Christmas. She won't leave the house without it. For her 1/3/08 birthday, she got a purse so the need for the whole make-up kit was shrunk considerably.
Sometimes I really regret not having kids....
Glad to hear about the report... skin cancers run in my family, too, so I am a tyrant about the sunblock, as well.
As for the shoes-- it's just a good thing they're so CUTE, isn't it?? And just when you're about to lose it, they do something TOTALLY sweet and adorable! :)
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