Wanted:

Women within drinking distance of Maryland for a oh-my-god-the-kids-are-driving-me-crazy-and-work-sucks night out. Must like margaritas, think their significant others are hott and their ex's are jerks. You must be able to take a joke and not mind the slew of sarcastic comments that will spew forth from my mouth at any given moment, the weird faces I tend to make when I'm drunk and my loss of the ability to whisper thereby unintentionally informing other woman in the bar that I think a) she is a slut, b) I hate her hair c) I hate her outfit, or d) all of the above.

I'll be accepting resumes via email until The Girl turns 18.