Part of me feels like a shit
So Paperweight just called me. Crying. I kind of expected it. He's having one of his depression days. He showed up an hour early to get the girl for preschool. I listened without comment for a little while. I guess because I was quiet, he asked if he was bothering me......
Me: "You want the love, support, and comfort of a family but none of the work or responsibility. I'm supposed to be there for you when you need me, ask nothing in return, and go away when you are done with me. Frankly, I feel like I'm being used."
Him: "I just feel so bad and you were the only person I thought I could talk to."
Me: "I warned you that this would happen. You took the one person who loves you the most. The person who supported you, comforted you, listened to you and was your constant cheerleader and then pushed her away. Now you have to deal with this shit on you own."
I felt a few moments of triumph, having said what had been eating at me.
He cried for a little then said good-bye and hung up.Now I have a rock in my gut. Why can't I let go?
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 11:34 AM
4 Comments:
He was a part of your life. There is a void now. Taking care of him was one of your purposes in life. That's gone too. It's natural to wish to return to the familiar.
High five for standing up for yourself. That was awesome.
I'm glad you told him how you were feeling and let him know he had to deal with the consequences of his actions. There is always, always pain in letting go of what we cherish, desire, love.....hell...in letting go of the dream we thought was our own.
I'm so proud of you and I love you to pieces!
Not to sound too cliched, but 'you go girl'! You have to be truthful with him. Tell him what he needs for someone to finally tell him. He definitely needs that eye opener. And the added bonus is that it will empower you! *smoochies*
Hope you're doing ok today, Jen.
What you told him needed to be said. Hopefully, he'll take it to heart and really act on it.
Take care of yourself and the kids. That's all you can do.
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