severely traumatized

It was like a like a bad car wreck. I didn't want to take a closer look but felt compelled too. I could even hear the theme music from Jaws playing in a corner of my mind. It was just an ordinary day like any other until something went horribly wrong.... Yesterday, after picking up the girl from preschool, I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. As most shopping trips are, it was a mundane experience at best. Until we were on our way back to the car. Out in front of the store, a middle-aged man was talking on a pay phone. I didn't take much notice at first except to note that he was wearing one of those shirts I hate. I am not a fan of tank tops in general, but these type are the worst of the bunch. Where a normal arm hole would be are holes that are wide enough and long enough to fit a small child through. And since most men don't have a small child dangling on their hip while they wear these shirts, it instead gives us a clear view of the intimate details of their upper body. As my daughter and I proceeded along the sidewalk coming closer to this gentleman, I suddenly realized that he was not nearly as tan as I had thought he was. Yes, you guessed it. Body hair. Now please don't misunderstand me. I want to make some things very clear....

1. Yes, I am a fan of 'male' looking men and a some chest and body hair can be extremely sexy.
2. Yes, I realize I am in the majority of women who dislike extreme hairness.
3. Yes, even extreme back hair is nothing new and I'm sure everyone has seen a guy who looked like he needed to be dipped in hot wax.

However, the sheer length of this man's body hair blew my mind. My profession being what it is, I feel entirely confident estimating length.

And if his back, shoulder, chest, side and stomach hair was less then four inches long, I will eat this keyboard.

do do do do.....do do do do...