Yesterday was very stressful
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.If you insist that you want the responsibility of taking The Girl to daycare in the mornings despite my protests and then don't show up causing The Boy to call me on my cell phone and forcing me to turn around and drive the 1-1/2 hours back home, I will take all of your remaining DVDs that you haven't moved out yet and give them to Eduardo. I will probably also take that case containing your 30 year collection of albums and sell them at my yard sale next month. Probably for a penny a piece as well.
- Newton's Third Law
If you see that I'm visibly upset and yet you insist on making a smartass comment about me arriving late for work, I will use my handy dandy hacky sack to put a big welt on your arm. (hacky sack resides on my desk courtesy of The Boy, 'for protection' he said; and it works)
If you insist on turning your radio up loudly, even though the use of headphones is an office policy, and even though you aren't at your desk for more then 10 minutes every hour, I will turn your radio off when you leave. And yes, when you keep turning it back on upon your returns, I will continue to turn it back off every time you leave your desk.
If you insist on having 3 hour phone conversations about your Jehovah Witness beliefs in the office during work hours, my friend and I will mock you. Repeatedly.
If you insist on treating me like I'm an idiot, I will automatically 'become' an idiot, leaving me with no capacity to help you with your immediate deadline and you will be forced to do the work yourself.
If you park in the middle of the exit at the gas station when you run in to buy cigarettes thereby blocking my car in, I will sit on the hood of your car until you get back.
If you insist that you want the responsibility of taking The Girl to daycare in the mornings despite my protests and then don't show up causing The Boy to call me on my cell phone and forcing me to turn around and drive the 1 1/2 hours back home, I will continue to be mad at you and think you are a total fuckhead for quite a while. Do not email me at work. Do not try to start a conversation when you call the kids in the evening. If you do, I will blog about it the next day and tell everyone I can that you are a fucktard.
posted by ƒåυνέ @ 8:45 AM
3 Comments:
I've said it before, but I am firmly convinced that ex's have some genetic need to CONSTANTLY remind us why they are ex's.
My ex?? Left his shit at my house for almost 2 years after we split up and almost a year after the divorce - when, according to the paperwork, he had something like 60 days to remove it or he lost all rights to it.
And then he had the nerve to get pissed at me when I gave his table saw away to someone???? Puh-leeze!
What a jerk off. why is it men dont get the importance of children. It's like it's no big deal when they do shit like that...grrrrr
Hacky sack as a weapon? Never thought of that. Tell The Boy I said 'good call'.
Take the batteries out of the radio, toss 'em in your bag, and throw them in the trash (when you get home). Make it more of a challenge for the moron.
And complain to HR about the religious conversations. Say it's offending you and causing you to be less productive as well. Plant the seed!
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