The Paperweight has a girlfriend

I found this out at our nephew's birthday party when his 5 year old daughter (my great niece) said to me "Paperweight was sad that you guys had a fight but now he's happy because he has a girlfriend. Do you like his girlfriend?"

On the ride home, I asked the kids a couple questions to which they replied to each, in unison, Yes...
Does your dad have a girlfriend? Have you met her? Is she nice to you?

I was going to leave it at that, not wanting to pry the kids, but The Boy then informed me that he figured I knew since it's been about 3 months since they (the kids) found out about her and The Boy says it looked like they have been going out 'a while'. Her name is [to be determined. suggestions welcome], they occasionally eat dinner out together, and The Paperweight whispers into his cell phone when he says 'i love you' which The Boy thinks is freakin' hysterical.

So I've been having mixed feelings about this. As I've mentioned before, The Thing and I have both been wishing for The Paperweight to get a girlfriend so as to occupy some of his time and get him off our backs and maybe out of my hair for an entire day. So when I first heard, I was all 'Thank you God! Too bad he couldn't drop dead, but this will do.'
Yes, I really do talk to God like that.
He doesn't seem to mind. I mean, at least I talk to Him, right?

The thing is, I've asked The Paperweight at least twice in the last 3 months if he was seeing anyone. I even tried to sound encouraging hoping he'd get himself a life and leave me alone for a while. Every time, he's denied it, saying he doesn't want to date because that would take time away from his kids (duh, that's the point. and when the fuck did you become dad-of-the-year?)

So I then found myself getting a little pissed. Well, actually, anger came a little bit later. At first, within about 15 minutes after I found out, while I was still at my nephew's party, I found myself becoming quite...um...embarrassed. Okay, let's be honest. I started to feel humiliated. To find out from my 5 year old great niece that my kids have been spending time with this woman who I didn't even know existed...and apparently that I'm the last person to know...
It was like living the end of my marriage all over again; where he's banging somebody and everyone seems to know about it but me. I hate feeling like an idiot or like people are whispering about me behind my back. He knows I don't care who he dates, why does he feel the need to make a game out of it?

And it was after I got a little more info (like her name) that a light bulb went off. The Girl had mentioned her before. At the time, I mentioned it to The Paperweight and he laughed shrugging it off, like 'oh, you know how she is'. The Girl is known for making up imaginary friends so I bought it and didn't think twice. So not only was The Paperweight straight out lying to my face, but was going as far as to make it look like his own daughter was a liar. Who does that?!?! And why?!
But then again, he lied to me about dating women while we were married, so I really shouldn't be surprised that he's lied to me since we've gotten divorced, eh?

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The kids and I took the day off and are leaving around lunch time today. We are headed to The Thing's house for the long Memorial Day Weekend. Have a great weekend everyone and I'll see you on Tuesday!