In To Stupidity Part Douche

Since I know you're all waiting with baited breath to see how my meeting at the high school went, I shall delay no further. You're probably thinking, what could possibly happen now that she has all of the paperwork filled out AND an appointment...well let me tell you....

It really is partly my own fault because as I left the house that morning, I said to The Thing, 'so how much you want to bet something gets fucked up?'
So I arrive 5 minutes before the scheduled appointment so as to avoid the I'm-not-seeing-you-because-you're-late scenario but never made it past the Receptionist.

Recept-o-cunt: Where's your son?
Most-Intelligent-Lovely-Fauve: My son?
R.O.C.: You're registering your son, right? Where is he? He's supposed to be here?
M.I.L.F.: [trying to play it cool though temperature is already simmering] Did you tell me he was supposed to be here?
R.O.C.: What?
M.I.L.F.: I've spoken to you twice; once in person and again on the phone - Either time, did you tell me he was supposed to be here?
R.O.C.: I just assumed you would know that.
M.I.L.F.: [suppressing a snort which came out as a half-scoff] How would I know that if you didn't tell me?
R.O.C.: Well, where is he?
M.I.L.F.: He's in Pennsylvania with his father. If you told me this appointment was for him too, he'd be here.
R.O.C.: I just assumed you would know he should be here.
M.I.L.F.: [not even remotely trying to suppress snorting, scoffing or anger] I didn't need him when I registered him for private school as a child. I didn't need him when I registered him for public school a few years ago. And I know it's not a Maryland thing because I didn't need The Girl when I registered her 3 weeks ago at her new school. So how in the hell would I know that he needed to be here if you didn't tell me? And why are you giving me such a hard time?
R.O.C.: I'm not trying to give you a hard time. Here, let me see your paperwork and I'll see what I can do.

I hand her paperwork and she disappears. She returns empty-handed about 10 minutes later.

R.O.C.: Where are his transcripts from his old school? They aren't here. We can't help you if we don't have his transcripts.
M.I.L.F.: [so angry I'm on the verge of tears] First of all, once again, no one told me I had to have his old transcripts in hand when I registered. Second of all, I've called his old school and told them to send them to you. If you haven't received them yet...
R.O.C.: [interrupting me] well they're not here so we can't do anything for you. I don't know what you expect us to do.

Now remember, I still haven't even seen the person I had scheduled an appointment with. So this is where I totally went off the fucking deep end. I'll admit that. Once again, I hit my limit, but at least it wasn't Thing I yelled at this time. The school's office had about 5 other people in it, besides us, and you could have heard a pin drop as they all stopped to watch and listen.
I'll spare you the word-by-word blow because I don't remember it exactly. Besides, I don't think the Universe could handle that stream of obscenities again without a star imploding somewhere. It started with her list of offenses and my opinions on her IQ and ended with me in tears of frustration looking around and screaming at each of them "And why is everyone in Maryland just so fucking mean?!"
And when no one offered any explanations, I announced I was moving back to Pennsylvania and stormed out of the office.

One of my classier moments, no?