Just breathe...

Eduardo asked last night if he could come over to my house to visit this coming Saturday. Um, my house. As in, see where I live - meet my kids - my house. Yeah, freak much?

My horoscope for today:

Are you trying to restrain your feelings so the boundaries of a friendship or relationship will remain the same? Drop these efforts and you'll feel so much more relaxed and in tune with what the universe wants for you.

Fuck me...
What if I don't want what the universe wants for me? What if I'm not ready yet?!?!

Potpourri

I forgot to mention that I went to the Pittsburgh Gay Pride Festival last month. There are pictures of me hugging an attractive brunette in the latest Out Magazine. I'm considering leaving a copy laying around for The Paperweight to see. (evil laughter)

The warehouse across the street from my office is replacing their sidewalk. Tall muscular man, all of probably 20 years old, no shirt, glistening sweat is using a jackhammer outside my window. Serious eye candy. Yum.

Remember the roommate? Turns out he works in the same field, in the same town as The Paperweight. Yes, I checked. Roommate knows him. Small world, eh?

Believe it or not, I'm still sick. It's two weeks today. My sinuses may implode at any minute. Eduardo teases that it's probably Ebola. I think it's Bird Flu - from that cock I've been spending so much time with lately. (snort, i crack myself up)

The power was off when I came to work this morning. I spent two hours reading my book. Every day should start that way.

It's the weekend!

Yeah! Eduardo and I are spending tomorrow hiking and lake swimming. Double yeah!

What are your exciting plans?

Yes, as a matter of fact I am still sick...I promise to be more exciting next week.

Yesterday was very stressful

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
- Newton's Third Law

If you insist that you want the responsibility of taking The Girl to daycare in the mornings despite my protests and then don't show up causing The Boy to call me on my cell phone and forcing me to turn around and drive the 1-1/2 hours back home, I will take all of your remaining DVDs that you haven't moved out yet and give them to Eduardo. I will probably also take that case containing your 30 year collection of albums and sell them at my yard sale next month. Probably for a penny a piece as well.

If you see that I'm visibly upset and yet you insist on making a smartass comment about me arriving late for work, I will use my handy dandy hacky sack to put a big welt on your arm. (hacky sack resides on my desk courtesy of The Boy, 'for protection' he said; and it works)

If you insist on turning your radio up loudly, even though the use of headphones is an office policy, and even though you aren't at your desk for more then 10 minutes every hour, I will turn your radio off when you leave. And yes, when you keep turning it back on upon your returns, I will continue to turn it back off every time you leave your desk.

If you insist on having 3 hour phone conversations about your Jehovah Witness beliefs in the office during work hours, my friend and I will mock you. Repeatedly.

If you insist on treating me like I'm an idiot, I will automatically 'become' an idiot, leaving me with no capacity to help you with your immediate deadline and you will be forced to do the work yourself.

If you park in the middle of the exit at the gas station when you run in to buy cigarettes thereby blocking my car in, I will sit on the hood of your car until you get back.

If you insist that you want the responsibility of taking The Girl to daycare in the mornings despite my protests and then don't show up causing The Boy to call me on my cell phone and forcing me to turn around and drive the 1 1/2 hours back home, I will continue to be mad at you and think you are a total fuckhead for quite a while. Do not email me at work. Do not try to start a conversation when you call the kids in the evening. If you do, I will blog about it the next day and tell everyone I can that you are a fucktard.

Let's beat the Monday blahs

and have a little fun because my week has been Crazy (yes, with a capital C) and Lord knows I don't feel like working....

Do you know, are you friends with, and/or do you hang out with Swingers?

If a good friend of yours, who has been trying to have a baby for the last 17 years, asks you to be a surrogate mother for her, would you do it?
Would it make a difference if the baby was genetically yours or not?
Would the fact that said couple were Swingers effect your decision?

Have you ever or would you participate in a threesome?
Would the sex of the other two make a difference in the decision?
(would the other two participants need to be of the opposite sex, for example)

If a co-worker were bi-curious and wanted you to be her first experience, would you do it?

If the guy you were dating said it wouldn't bother him if you fucked his roommate, would you make out with said roommate to prove the point that yes, indeed it would bother him?

LOL....sorry...where was I?

If a very good friend has lived with the same asshole for the last 8 years and has broken up with him and is moving into her own place....and this person now sees you as their Idol because you dumped your own Paperweight, whom you were actually married to....is it okay to feel smug?
Is it okay to hook up this friend with, say, the above mentioned roommate?
If so, would you tell her first that you made out with him?
Or should you just hook her up with the bi-curious coworker and kill two birds with one stone?

whine

I'm sick.

Waahhhhhhhhh!

So I'd like to give a big 'fork in the head' (it is Friday, after all) to The Boy for passing along his head cold to me. Especially since I have a date on Sunday. If I'm not better by then and I have to cancel, I'm going to be really whiny.

I think I need another cup of coffee

I came to an important conclusion recently; Peanut butter is highly underrated. Don't you think the world would be a much better place if everyone had, ate, and/or used peanut butter everyday?

In other news that has nothing to do with anything, I found some videos courtesy of Contrary. Both video 1 and video 2 left me with the question - do I lick the screen or pee my pants laughing?

For the record, I did both.

mucho atractivo

Both Serenity and Beth asked for an Eduardo update, and who am I to not brag?

That Friday (date #3) was very nice. And not just because we had amazing sex again (though we did), but it was a new experience - for both of us. After the truly amazing sex (wonder how much I can say that and get away with it), he cooked me lunch again. Then we...uh, just kind of hung out. I was browsing Eduardo's bookcase while he cooked when I found The Alchemist and he commented that it was his favorite book and that I should read it. He then took me by hand and lead me to the couch. He stated, "Sit here and read while I cook."

Okay, now do you not love him already? Do men have any concept what that one little sentence will do to a girl? Forget flowers and candy. Forget blow-smoke-up-my-ass flattery. Men - Repeat after me: "Sit here and read while I cook."

So I did. I got comfy on the couch and started to read. We had lunch together then he suggested that I may want to continue reading, because he could tell that I was already totally sucked in to the story. I kind of hesitated asking him if that was really okay - he wouldn't feel all rejected and unloved? - and he stated, 'if you want to read, read. Do you mind if I do some stuff while you read?' When I said no, he thought that was cool. So we spent the afternoon in his livingroom, side-by-side, me doing my thing and he doing his. We talked occassionally. We kissed occassionally. But we each did our own thing.

He called me the next morning to tell me how wonderful it all was and how much he enjoyed the day I spent with him. He told me he even bragged to his friend about it. I, of course, was perplexed. So it turns you on to get pretty much ignorned for 3 hours while I read on your couch, eh?

Apparently, yes. He loves that I'm my own person. He loves that I'm not needy or high-maintenance. Evidently his last girlfriend would never let him read while she was watching tv. He had to watch with her so they could talk during commercials. Okay, so, she was a psycho. All the better for me.

So that was our third and last date to date. My schedule has been to crazy since but we will be seeing each other this coming weekend.

In other news:
My vacation was wonderful and it now sucks to be back in my office wearing a suit.
I wore sandals and painted my toenails red in retaliation.
My lawyer filed the Complaint for Divorce on Friday morning.
My divorce will be final sometime in October.
The Girl turned 4 this past week.
I miss my Baby.
I got to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 yesterday and loved it.
Johnny Depp is just yummy.

So what's going on your world? Fill me in.

I'm back baby!

I was tagged last week by Keb

Instructions:
1. Go to Wikipedia
2. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year)
3. List three events that happened on your birthday
4. List two important birthdays and one interesting death
5. One holiday or observance (if any).

On March 21:

Events:
• 1928 - Charles Lindbergh is presented the Medal of Honor for his first trans-Atlantic flight.

1965 - Martin Luther King Jr leads 3,200 people on the start of the third and finally successful civil rights march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama.

1980 - On the season finale of the soap opera Dallas, the infamous character J.R. Ewing is shot by an unseen assailant, leading to the catchphrase "Who Shot JR?"

Birthdays:
1685 - Johann Sebastian Bach, German composer (d. 1750)

1978 - Kevin Federline, American dancer/hip hop artist

(kinda ironic, eh?)

Death:
1617 - Pocahontas, Native American, daughter of Powhatan (b. c. 1595)

Holiday/Observance:
Astrology: First day of star sign Aries.

I know that quite a few people here have already done this. So I’m tagging anyone who hasn’t. And if you leave me a comment that you’ve done it, I’ll add your link.

Remembering

This weekend I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho; which, I highly recommend.

The story in itself is amazing, but what I have been thinking about the last three days is a small tale that was told within the story. It was the story of a king who knew the secret to finding true happiness.

One day, a boy went to the king's castle and asked the king to please tell him the answer; what is the secret? The king said to the boy that he was currently too busy to tell him the secret, but that the boy could pass the time wandering through the king's castle and gazing upon the wonderful beauties it held. However, there was one condition; the boy must carry with him a spoon full of oil without spilling a drop. The boy agreed and walked throughout the entire castle, returning to the king without spilling the oil. When the king asked the boy what impressed him the most about the castle, the boy was embarrassed to admit that he was so focused on not spilling the oil, that he had missed seeing everything around him.

The king sent the boy to tour his castle again, recommending that this time the boy keep his eyes open to the wonders in front of him. So once again, the boy toured the castle with his eyes wide, enjoying everything the amazing castle had to offer. Upon returning to the king, he was asked, 'but where is your oil?' and the boy found that in touring the castle, he had spilled every drop. To which the king said, 'the key to true happiness is to keep your eyes open to the joys of everything around you, but to never forget the importance of the oil you carry.'

These last few months I've been asking 'why?'....why did my marriage not work out?
Now I know. I never once spilled a drop of oil, but I was so focused on it that I forgot about everything else. Whereas The Paperweight was so focused on everything else, that he forgot about the spoon in his hand and let his oil spill.
I've read before along these lines; about myself, of course. I'm not so concerned about The Paperweight. I am, however, always concerned with my personal growth. I saw a sign once that stated, "Remember who you were before you put yourself last". So that's what I'm doing now.