Background and logistics

It all started with a clothes dryer…

Back in December, my clothes dryer 'broke'. Okay, technically it didn't but…..what the hell, I'll make a long story longer…you see, way back in August or September my dryer started making this squeaking noise. Which slowly but steadily turned in to a horrible high pitched wailing over the next couple months. Uh, yeah months. You see, it worked just find. It was just loud. And I'm a tightwad. (There, I said it. Deal with it.)
A few times when The Paperweight heard it he commented that it sounded like 'a belt' and he could take a look at it if I wanted. Now, I knew better. Don't think I didn't. There was a greater chance that he would get around to reading War and Peace then there was of fixing something around the house and that was before he moved out. But it allowed me to procrastinate on the issue for a while longer - why hire a repair man when I can get him to do it for free?
So now it's December and The Thing is at my house on a regular basis and, despite my protests, fixes things each time he's there. Cause he's sweet like that. So one warm December day, he and The Boy drag the dryer out of the laundry room, flip it over and proceed to 'fix' it. Fix = screwdrivers, WD-40 and cursing. They then righted the dryer, plugged it in, turned it on, and we all stood back and watched the great clouds of smoke billow out the back and fill the laundry room….

I love The Thing - have I mentioned that?

So I got a new dryer.

It was hauled 3 hours from The Thing's neighboring state where he found me a sweet deal on a used (but newer then mine) dryer. It's pretty too. As he hooked up all the doodads and whatnots, he mentioned that the dryer came with a warranty, but it would have to be taken back to the place where he bought it….[insert foot shuffling and downcast eyes on Thing's part here] "But hopefully before too long it will be back in Maryland and won't have as far to go if it breaks down."

Um…
Um!!!
[insert partial shock and big dumb grin on fauve's face here. Tres sexy, no?]

After that, we had this ongoing cycle: he would bring it up casually, I'd respond casually, we'd drop it and go about our business…I'd bring it up casually, he'd respond casually, we'd drop it and go about our business…Rinse and repeat…

After two months of this, I decided to confront the issue. Was he thinking now? A few months? A year from now? 5 years? And what about location…was he thinking of moving in with me or me in with him? I'm all for 'go with the flow' for the most part and I like just sitting back and enjoying the relationship, but this is one thing you just can't do that with. It would entail one or the other of us finding a new job in a different state and/or having the kids change schools etc. and blah blah blah.
This is where we got stuck.
He'd be stupid to quit his job and come up here. I told him that. Repeatedly. He's worked there forever, he will never be fired, he makes substantially more money then I do at my job, and the job market in Pittsburgh sucks. Not to mention personal stuff, he has his entire family (not to mention 802 friends) in a half hour radius. I have no one. Unless you count The Paperweight, which, in my opinion, is one more reason for me to head to a different state. And he owns a home whereas I rent an apartment.
For his part, that dear sweet man, he doesn't want me to move the kids. He worries about them making the transition…The Boy changing schools in high school…he knows how shy and how awkward The Girl is with change...

Rinse and repeat…

A lot of the stuff I got from The Thing was very….um…what's the word…understanding. He's just so damn nice and unselfish, lol. NO, I am not complaining. And yes, I LOVE that about him, but he is unselfish to the point that he won't tell you what he wants. At all. Ever. He'll make comments like during the dryer incident…or when a friend of his came over one of the weekends I was down visiting and he kept making references to 'our' house…so I knew he was still thinking about it and still wanted it. But if asked head on, he'd say things like there was no rush…or take as much time as I needed…or he planned on being around no matter where we ended up together...

For this, and some other stuff, I wrote the letter. It led to a wonderful conversation where we both said what we wanted.
For me, it was along the lines of, 'I love you and I want to move in with you. And yes, I love you enough and want to be with you enough that I will quit my job and move my family to another state. It does, however, have to be during the summer due to school. So is it a case of the sooner the better or do you really not care when we move in together? Are your non-committal answers due to selflessness or because you aren't ready to do this now? I'll be with you no matter what your answers are, so tell the truth. I would just like to know if I should be sending out my resume.'

For him, it was "Frankly, it floors me that you would actually be willing to pick up your family and move for me. And I'm trying really hard not to be selfish. I want you to know that you can take as much time as you need to take care of the kids and not have to worry about whether or not I'll 'wait around'. I'll be with you no matter if it's in the same house or a different state. But if you are asking me what I want, it's a case of the sooner the better."

Don't ya just love him to pieces? Yeah, me too.

So yeah, the plan is…I'll be moving to Maryland to be with The Thing. Probably, late July/early August…though, before we get all excited, depending on how things go with the job hunt and the school enrollment and various other matters, it may end up being next July/August instead of this year. Though, that would totally suck. And…there's more stuff I need to write about that, but that will have to wait for another day.