The long catch-up

Work:
Deadline's Law - anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I dealt with a broken ftp site, a crashed email server and consultants who were idiots. But last week's deadline was met; for better or worse and I won't have another submission until the end of April. Two things got me through it all without killing anyone or even a single temper tantrum for that matter 1) Coffee flavored Hershey Kisses courtesy of Girlfriend (if we were single and she was a little bit gay, I'd marry her) and 2) the knowledge that I would be spending a 3 day weekend with The Thing.

The weekend:
My weekend was perfect. And by perfect, I mean perfect. We saw a show, had dinner with friends, shopped, went on a tour, watched movies, visited his parents, had beautiful weather and a lot of incredible sex. What more could you possibly ask for? Well, of course, to have it all the time. Which is something we talked about a lot this weekend….

The move:
We decided that doing things 'right' would be better then doing things 'fast' and we will be moving in together next summer. The only pro to doing it this summer was the fact that it would save us a year of being apart, but the pros of waiting until next summer are numerous. And, I figure, I plan on spending the next 40 or so years with The Thing so I suppose I can wait 15 more months (+/-) to move in. So the next year will be spent - on his end, adding on another bedroom and a 1/2 bath to his house to make room for the additional three people to be living there. And on my end, making sure The Girl's numerous health problems are resolved or at least under control since we will be moving away from the Children's Hospital and the 3 different specialists she currently sees there (come to think of it, I don't think I've mentioned The Girl's medical stuff here before. And I'm not going to now. Maybe some other day). There of course will be various and numerous other things to be taken care of but those are the biggest/most important and the rest is just your standard moving-to-another-state kind of items. I will, of course, have to find another job but I really don't see that as a big issue. I've scoped out the area and there is a TON of work in my field and, besides, I’m good at what I do. Not bragging, just the truth - I have a kick ass resume. Of course, that sometimes works against me. I've had people who didn't consider hiring me because they assume they can't afford me. Personally, though I don't tend to tell potential employers this, I really don't give a shit about making a lot of money. I'll go to a good firm and make crap money before I'll go to a bad firm for more money. Not that this really has anything to do with anything…I'm just rambling at this point. So let's move on, shall we?

Next weekend:
I will be taking the kids to The Thing's for the weekend for the first time. All four of us are terribly excited about this; especially The Girl (the big flirt. She's always trying to groove on my man). When I got home from my trip last night, she made me get her suitcase from the attic, which she proceeded to pack herself (Little People toys and fruit snacks mostly) and dragged it around the house for the rest of the evening asking when we were leaving. The cloud in this beautiful sunshiny sky of mine is, of course

The Paperweight:
I told him about this trip with the kids a month ago and he didn't say a word. And I thought, Cool, he's not going to be an jerk for once. Um, yeah. Right. And monkeys might fly out of my ass too. He called me on my cell on my way home yesterday wanting to know 'what this trip meant'. I said, 'it means I'm taking the kids away for the weekend' and pointed out that I took them to New Jersey last Fall and he didn't flip out. Yeah, okay…so The Paperweight's not too far off. He's smart enough to put together that we want to get the kids used to the town and The Thing's house so I can move down there. But he's still a jerk.
He told me during this conversation that I 'exude happiness' and questioned why I couldn't be this way with him. Uh, because The Thing treats me like he loves me and doesn't hold guns to my head? Yeah, The Paperweight just doesn't get it. He honestly doesn't get it. It seems that it was 'my fault' in a way….like, he thinks I should have just been this happy with him. Then he would have been happy and then could have treated me well. Part of me thinks 'DUMB ASS!' but part of me just thinks...he's really fucking sad.

Sleepy birthday girl

I worked 11 1/2 straight hours yesterday; on top of my 3 hour round-trip commute. And I got to wake up at 4:30 this morning and do it all again! on this, my 32nd birthday.

I got whisked away Friday afternoon by The Thing for our dinner, show, and romp at the hotel. It was wonderful (duh). At least it was until we returned to our vehicles Saturday morning to find someone had broken into Thing's truck. As if that wasn't bad enough, when we walked the block to my office to get warm and find plastic to tape over the passenger side 'window' they had busted out, someone went through his truck again in the time we were gone. Can you say 'fuckers'?

But my Thing stayed with me through until yesterday morning, which was the best present I could ever get. Though I got tons of other good stuff as well. And I'm leaving Friday to head down to his place for an extra long weekend.
Good thing too because my deadline is tomorrow...and clean up on Friday...I'll need to relax. This work stuff is bullshit.

But that's about it for me. No long sappy reflections of the past, since it's my birthday. No worry about getting old either. I'm not old, first off, and I look pretty kick ass for 32, if I do say so myself. Besides, I'm happy. I have two great kids, I'm employed, and I'm madly in love with a wonderful man. What more could a girl want?

Except may to hit the snooze alarm one more time...

Update

Remember that deadline from hell? Well, it wasn't enough of a laughable challenge, it seems, so they moved it up 4 days. [fork in my bosses head] Major overtime, busy busy schedule, lots of stress...so expect next week to be similar to this one (ie. Be shocked if I post. Be even more shocked if it's coherent)
However, I won't be working this weekend (praise god!) because The Thing is coming up for a long weekend. He's rescuing me from my office tomorrow afternoon and whisking me away to dinner and a show and a night away from the kids in a nice comfy hotel (room service!). He'll be in town through Monday so don't expect me to come up for air this weekend either.
No, coolchick, I didn't stab The Paperweight (yet). He's actually gone the whole last week without being a dick. I should start a counter...you know, like the one's they use in factories to track when the last accident was. IT'S BEEN 7 DAYS SINCE THE PAPERWEIGHT WAS A DUMB ASS.
And Karamia...The Paperweight hasn't said anything regarding my moving in with The Thing. I haven't talked to him about it yet. Since we have yet to decide if it shall be this summer or next, I figure no use listening to him bitch sooner then necessary. Besides, my New Year's Resolution may finally work out and I won't have to worry about his opinion at all...
And don't forget, 6 more days until my birthday. Those presents better be in the mail.

Fork in the Head Friday: The Lousy Parenting Edition

Just to refresh your memories, due to it being the best situation for The Girl, The Paperweight comes to my house every morning, gets her ready and takes her to preschool. While it annoys the ever-loving-piss out of me to have him in my home every weekday, especially since I'm not there, it does allow her to not only see her father more but to sleep in 2 1/2 hours extra then she would if I had to take her before I went to work...

I got a phone call at work yesterday morning. It was only a little after 8am and it was The Paperweight. Not a good combination.
[groan] there should be a law that ex-husbands can not call you before your second cup of tea.

The conversation went like this:
Paperweight: I just wanted to let you know that The Boy is at home today.
Me: Why?
Paperweight: Because he didn't go to school.
[insert eye rolling here]
Me: Why didn't he go to school today?
Paperweight: Because he missed the bus.
[insert prayers to god for his spontaneous combustion here]
Me: And you didn't drop him off at the school on your way to work because...?
Paperweight: [dead silence]
Me: Hello?!?!
Paperweight: Well, I asked him if he wanted me to drop him off and he said no that he didn't want to go to school today.

Background and logistics

It all started with a clothes dryer…

Back in December, my clothes dryer 'broke'. Okay, technically it didn't but…..what the hell, I'll make a long story longer…you see, way back in August or September my dryer started making this squeaking noise. Which slowly but steadily turned in to a horrible high pitched wailing over the next couple months. Uh, yeah months. You see, it worked just find. It was just loud. And I'm a tightwad. (There, I said it. Deal with it.)
A few times when The Paperweight heard it he commented that it sounded like 'a belt' and he could take a look at it if I wanted. Now, I knew better. Don't think I didn't. There was a greater chance that he would get around to reading War and Peace then there was of fixing something around the house and that was before he moved out. But it allowed me to procrastinate on the issue for a while longer - why hire a repair man when I can get him to do it for free?
So now it's December and The Thing is at my house on a regular basis and, despite my protests, fixes things each time he's there. Cause he's sweet like that. So one warm December day, he and The Boy drag the dryer out of the laundry room, flip it over and proceed to 'fix' it. Fix = screwdrivers, WD-40 and cursing. They then righted the dryer, plugged it in, turned it on, and we all stood back and watched the great clouds of smoke billow out the back and fill the laundry room….

I love The Thing - have I mentioned that?

So I got a new dryer.

It was hauled 3 hours from The Thing's neighboring state where he found me a sweet deal on a used (but newer then mine) dryer. It's pretty too. As he hooked up all the doodads and whatnots, he mentioned that the dryer came with a warranty, but it would have to be taken back to the place where he bought it….[insert foot shuffling and downcast eyes on Thing's part here] "But hopefully before too long it will be back in Maryland and won't have as far to go if it breaks down."

Um…
Um!!!
[insert partial shock and big dumb grin on fauve's face here. Tres sexy, no?]

After that, we had this ongoing cycle: he would bring it up casually, I'd respond casually, we'd drop it and go about our business…I'd bring it up casually, he'd respond casually, we'd drop it and go about our business…Rinse and repeat…

After two months of this, I decided to confront the issue. Was he thinking now? A few months? A year from now? 5 years? And what about location…was he thinking of moving in with me or me in with him? I'm all for 'go with the flow' for the most part and I like just sitting back and enjoying the relationship, but this is one thing you just can't do that with. It would entail one or the other of us finding a new job in a different state and/or having the kids change schools etc. and blah blah blah.
This is where we got stuck.
He'd be stupid to quit his job and come up here. I told him that. Repeatedly. He's worked there forever, he will never be fired, he makes substantially more money then I do at my job, and the job market in Pittsburgh sucks. Not to mention personal stuff, he has his entire family (not to mention 802 friends) in a half hour radius. I have no one. Unless you count The Paperweight, which, in my opinion, is one more reason for me to head to a different state. And he owns a home whereas I rent an apartment.
For his part, that dear sweet man, he doesn't want me to move the kids. He worries about them making the transition…The Boy changing schools in high school…he knows how shy and how awkward The Girl is with change...

Rinse and repeat…

A lot of the stuff I got from The Thing was very….um…what's the word…understanding. He's just so damn nice and unselfish, lol. NO, I am not complaining. And yes, I LOVE that about him, but he is unselfish to the point that he won't tell you what he wants. At all. Ever. He'll make comments like during the dryer incident…or when a friend of his came over one of the weekends I was down visiting and he kept making references to 'our' house…so I knew he was still thinking about it and still wanted it. But if asked head on, he'd say things like there was no rush…or take as much time as I needed…or he planned on being around no matter where we ended up together...

For this, and some other stuff, I wrote the letter. It led to a wonderful conversation where we both said what we wanted.
For me, it was along the lines of, 'I love you and I want to move in with you. And yes, I love you enough and want to be with you enough that I will quit my job and move my family to another state. It does, however, have to be during the summer due to school. So is it a case of the sooner the better or do you really not care when we move in together? Are your non-committal answers due to selflessness or because you aren't ready to do this now? I'll be with you no matter what your answers are, so tell the truth. I would just like to know if I should be sending out my resume.'

For him, it was "Frankly, it floors me that you would actually be willing to pick up your family and move for me. And I'm trying really hard not to be selfish. I want you to know that you can take as much time as you need to take care of the kids and not have to worry about whether or not I'll 'wait around'. I'll be with you no matter if it's in the same house or a different state. But if you are asking me what I want, it's a case of the sooner the better."

Don't ya just love him to pieces? Yeah, me too.

So yeah, the plan is…I'll be moving to Maryland to be with The Thing. Probably, late July/early August…though, before we get all excited, depending on how things go with the job hunt and the school enrollment and various other matters, it may end up being next July/August instead of this year. Though, that would totally suck. And…there's more stuff I need to write about that, but that will have to wait for another day.

Since you guys did such a good job Sunday

Here's something else you can help me out with. My technorati profile sucks. It really does. I know none of you have seen it, because, if you had, you wouldn't have bothered to come here to read in the first place. However, I have a difficult time trying to describe myself and describing my writing (is that was this is?) is even more difficult. AND to make matters worse, I talk too fucking much. Technorati only gives you a very limited number of characters and I kept going over by a few thousand. This is the sad shit I was left with :

My journey from bad marriage to entering the dating world after 2 decades and finding love; all while raising two kids, working full time and being totally neurotic.

See? Sucks...
So there is your assignment for today. How would you describe me and/or this blog?

Um, yeah. Have you noticed that too? That, with the exception of a very heart-felt letter that just called to you to scream for details, I haven't written anything personal in quite a while, now have I?
I should probably do something about that, eh?
Um
You see, the thing is...
Nevermind.

Okay, okay! Fuckers. [sigh]

You see...The Thing and I...

Um, we kinda sorta...

We've been talking about moving in together.

Okay trivia buffs...

I need your help. Remember the show Life Goes On? In Season 2, they opened a restaurant, which Corky burns down at the beginning of Season 3...I believe it was a grill type of restaurant, nothing fancy...but anyway... What in the hell was the name of the restaurant?

The count down has begun...

It's March 1st folks. Know what that means? Only 20 more days until my birthday... So why in the hell are you still sitting here reading?! Go out and get my presents! I accept them the entire month. Cash and credit cards welcome.

This also leaves me roughly 7 weeks until The Thing's birthday. I know a few of you are in or have done the long distance relationship thing...so any suggestions for unique, thoughtful, and/or romantic gifts or ideas are more then welcome.

Now go buy me presents.

Seriously.

And the latest news from the front?
He loves me. He'll always love me. And he always wants to be a part of my life, no matter what, forever and ever.
And not just because we kind of have to have a relationship because of the kids.

WTF?!?!

Yep, those thoughts of love were brought to us courtesy of The Paperweight.